Dear Today

{Warning: Contains a negative aura at the beginning but it gets better and it is ultra long}

Dear Today,

I am no longer sure if you are my foe or ally. Because today, I did not feel good. I don’t know why I felt miserable, tired, weak, sick and stressed. I just do and everything that is the slightest bit away from good is standing out to me more and more….

·         I got no sleep

·         In Math, I retook a test so I would have an A but no, teacher loses my retake and there in the grade remains a B.

·         I listened to people talking bad about other people

·         After school, I almost collapsed several times on the way up from the bus stop

·         First thing I saw when I stepped inside the house was a note on a piece of paper that looked like my brother had written it said, “I am sad.” I thought me too, although, I do not know why.

·         Right after that I am piled on with more and more chores than usual

·         Homework in general

·         Every sound I heard hurt my head

·         My head and heart pounded

·         I felt like I was going to pass out

There were a lot of other things but I feel like the aura of this post would be too negative so a the end of my day today I got dressed for soccer and went to practice but no one was there. The sky was black and it was raining. I went back to the car and waited so more. After a bit mom tells me to go check if anyone is there yet. So I go out there again, no one is there but I trip into the middle of the field and stumble to my hands and knees onto the met turf. I cry, yes tears, sobs. The stadium lights glare down at me like a scolding parent. The turf pieces stick to my palms. Rain hits my back, almost like it is prodding me to get up. I just cry, I don’t know why, I just do. I mean come on; my day wasn’t even that bad. In fact it was way better than usual. I just felt, bad.

    I walk back to the car and we drive home, the car headlights look like messy child’s painting strokes on a piece of black paper because of my tears. I listen to Jason Mraz-Details in the Fabric  I am sick of being strong, I have been strong for too long. I am tired of pushing the wagon that I was assigned to. Now I just want someone to take over and carry me for a while, at least help me stay up while I push the wagon. I want someone to say to me “Take my hand, I'll teach you to dance. I spin you around won't let you fall down. Would you let me lead? You can step on my feet
Give it a try, it'll be alright.” I know it is selfish, I do. But we all need to understand that we all have these day; the days where we just want to sit down and rest but we are worried that we wouldn’t be able to get back up.

    It’s funny when you fall, people finally start noticing. Actually it is kinda sad; finally when you are down, people rush to your aid but why didn’t the just hold them up the times when they were feeling strong? Why didn’t they just prod them along while they are still going just fine? Why weren’t they always there for them? I am not saying that no one has prodded me along because many people have and are still doing it but I am saying that I really don’t treat them like I should. I am so lucky to be one that has prodders to spare, not everyone has them. I pretend I don’t need them which is foolish because I really do.  I asked myself, where would I be without my prodders? The answer, I really don’t want to know.

    I got home and opened my Bible, the turned to a bookmark in Exodus. There were two scriptures that caught my eye:

Exodus 14:14

“The Lord shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace”

Oh my goodness Mesa! Rely on God more but do all you can just leave the rest to God. Stop being so arrogant and doing it yourself because you will fail! The Lord is there for my protection, support, and he will fight for me and I will remain in peace if we work together. What a beautiful promise.

Second scripture was Exodus 15:2:

“The Lord is my strength and song, and he is become my salvation: he is my God, and I will prepare him an habitation; my father’s God, and I will exalt him.”

Amazing, anyways…….What was good today:

·         Extra credit in Science

·         I read a good book

·         I had “lunch” with my favorite teacher

·         It was a half day

·         I get to design my own restaurant menu in Health

·         The fall leaves were beautiful on the walk home today

·         I reread a kind note from a  friend

·         I spoke briefly with my friends and sister Hannah, Noelle and Kenra

·         I made my special soup

·         I had two mugs of hot chocolate

·         I found something I lost

That was my day, remember be a prodder.

Today, you taught me a lesson. I still don’t feel m my best, but I feel like I have learned something that I can use later on.

Today, I am thankful for Today

See you tomorrow, Today

from a follower,

Mase

Grateful for Opportunity

Today slash yesterday slash tomorrow slash EVERY day I am thankful, so thankful for opportunities. Example: I was asked if I would like to join a painting class with some friends and I did and wow I love it. I have the opportunity to get away form school and the house and I can just listen to my friends talk, make no sense at all and take in the sound of our instructor's singing voice (she sings us songs, how nice.) So take those opportunities! 

Our painting family 

Well, whats left of us at least :)

outside world, cameras, friends, and teachers

Oh Today I am especially thankful and grateful to The marvelous outside world, cameras, friends and teachers.  
1. The Outside world....WOW. Have you ever just laid down in the grass not caring if it was cold or not and just stop time and just sit there and let your mind wander into places that it wouldn't go unless you were there, breathing in the scents of Gods marvelous creation.

I took the next landscape pictures on two separate runs, I live in such a beautiful place :)

2. Cameras.....Where would I be without them?!? I have no idea. Pictures just have a very strong emotional pull on me that I have to have and take them. Plus, it would be hard to paint some of my pictures without some kind of picture. So camera's....you are great. (really I should be thanking the inventor, Thanks Joseph Niepce.) So I took some pictures for fun.... 

3. Friends. Let me just tell you a story; the Story of the girl that saved me. Once upon a time we were having a deep conversation on Facebook and I was feeling kinda down. She then told met to tell her everything that I hated about myself. This kind of surprised me because whenever she says something bad about herself I make her say something good about herself to make up for it. So her saying this to me really surprised me but I went on and on and I secretly hoped that she would say something to go against everything that I was saying but no she did not. She did something better, at the very end she said, "Good job."
i replied, "For what, reminded myslef all the stuff that I don't like about myself?"
And she said "no, for reminding me that you are human too."
Right then right there, I realized we all have imperfections we all have things that we don't like about ourselves and that's fine. It's what makes us us. Wow I cried when she said this. And it felt good to cry. Friends are those who do whats right, who follow through promptings, who know your imperfections but love you any way. Oh, Hannah. Thank you so much. And don't worry, they were good tears (winkety face.)


4. Teachers: They are just amazing. I mean come on. Imagine having to deal with annoying troublemaker kids that will make up the next generation. In my opinion they are just brilliant and inspiring.


The end :)




{Wore:Forever 21 sweater, Wet Seal Jeans, Homemade bow slash clip in hair,Faded Glory sandals}